Judge Genevieve

I'm too judgmental. I have problems when people do things that I wouldn't do, even if they are legitimate choices. I often take it as a personal affront when someone chooses something other than what I would chose, even though I know it has nothing to do with me.

For example, I get really bothered when married women change their names. Even though it's none of my business what they decide to do. I don't like hyphenation either, unless both husband and wife hyphenate and actually use both names. I want to tell them all "you're not property! Your father didn't give you to your husband." I've actually said this to people, only to be told, "well, you've got your dad's name. That's just another man's name too." Sure, true enough. But if I ever have children, they won't all have their dad's name. One might have my name and the other the dad's. Or maybe some combo name. I don't know yet. But I do know that you can't change how things work unless you actually try.

I feel like when someone makes a decision that I wouldn't make, I kind of get this sneery tone in my voice. I don't like that. I want to be able to ask legitimate questions of people, like, "why did you decide to change your name?" without sounding like some super condescending judgmental freak. And eventually, I know, I'll alienate people, which I certainly don't want to do.