Home Again, Home Again, Jiggedy Jig

What's the rest of that nursery rhyme? Something about fast as a pig? (or at least that's what's in my head.) Well, my return journey home was anything but fast.

The day started out OK. I got upgraded to first class. First class on international flights is really, really nice. Your seat turns into a bed. Because of the upgrade, though, I watched different movies than I what I thought I was going to watch. Because in first class, you have a personal video player, with different choices than the rest of the plane. So I watched The Darjeeling Limited, Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium, My Kid Could Paint That, and August Rush.

Yes. Four movies. Because my flight was, oh, 4 hours late, meaning I got home about 6 hours later than I expected. When we got to Dulles, only about 30 minutes late, there was bad weather and we had to circle for 40 minutes. We started running out of fuel, so we got diverted to Baltimore. Where they would not let us off the plane.

We sat in Baltimore, waiting to be refueled. They started the movies again. They gave us drinks and granola bars. Once we got fuel, we took off and landed again at Dulles. There was a long line at immigration. I got carded for the beer I was carrying. (I am 32. 32! How many 32 year olds get carded for bringing beer through customs and immigration?) They never announced what belt our bags were on, but that's because they were just sitting on the floor. And then when I finally had collected all my stuff and was ready to go, I got sent by customs to the Department of Agriculture for additional screening. Must be the beer I had with me.

I thought I might be home by 4 pm. I was home at 10. Quel cauchemar.